Thursday 1 June 2017

BOOK REVIEW: BLUE COLLAR LAWMAN By: Harold Smith


Chapter 1

At the time Macmillan recorded his afore mentioned view, he was heavily engaged with Suez. This glaring example of dirty work abroad was a total failure. Undeterred, Macmillan re–read a life of Machiavelli, and turned his attention to Nigeria and its newly discovered oil fields. On 21 July 1956 he had written, “The Government’s position is very bad at present. Nothing has gone well. In the Middle East we are still teased by Nasser and Co.; this Colonial Empire is breaking up; and many people view with anxiety the attempt to produce Parliamentary Democracy is such places as Nigeria…”

“Many people” doubtless include the oil companies and Tory and Labour politicians. In fact, the first stage of the Independence Elections was rigged in 1956, when I, with my colleague Charles Bunker, was ordered by the Governor General to take a major evident on the ground that planning had been in hand for some time.

Although of great international importance, not one civil servant blew the whistle on the awful lies told by Government Ministers during the Suez affair. This was a largely public event, and one of its major aims (which were denied) was regime change. Blair, another lying Prime Minister, was more successful in Iraq.

It is clearly better to conduct dirty work abroad in secret. Macmillan kept a close eye on the Independence arrangements for Nigeria, where a showpiece of democracy was to be cynically destroyed and a set of corrupt stooges invested with power. I blew the whistle on that treason in 1956 and Macmillan knew, through his son – in – law Julian Amery, the measures taken to shut me up. Suez was illegal; Nigeria was illegal if Suez was illegal. The British publics still do not know of the treason which killed three million in Nigeria, but Tony Blair knew!

It seems that it was British parliament democracy that was being set aside by Harold Macmillan. Our stooges, who did not want the British to leave – the most backward and feudal we could find had power thrust on them. Nobody believed the mass of the people who followed their nationalist leaders could possibly have voted for those awful creatures and, in fact, very few did, but who cared when the British were counting the votes! Amazingly at the victory celebrations on Independence Day, not a single nationalist leader was on the platform when the union flag was lowered.

Had Macmillan feared the Nigeria people were not ready for Independence, he could easily have postponed it. After regime change in Persia and the Suez adventure, one might have expected Macmillan to be cautious. It was not to be. What is for sure is that it was not the welfare of the Nigeria people that Macmillan had in mind in screwing up democracy in Nigeria. There was also the small problem of consequences. What would happen to our stooges at elections when the British were not there to count the votes.

Clearly, the opposition had to be smashed, and in no time the leaders of the Action Group were framed on trumped–up treason charges. Would not this increase the risk of a coup? Our stooges were gunned down in 1966, and the Ibo were for a moment victorious. A British counter – coup restored our boys in power and sadly involved a pogrom. The Ibo declared for Independence, and they were put down by the force of British arms.

Did Macmillan feel any regret? Why should he, when the British kept control of the oil fields? Only three million died, and they were black, and a hagiographer of Balewa recorded that only one person of note was killed. So that was all right!

Was Macmillan an honourable gentleman? Or a cruel war criminal? Was he a democrat? He was certainly not going to own up. Indeed he took extreme measures to prevent the present writer telling the British people of his exploits.

The British had sold the Nigerians into slavery. Then they stole their country. Then they stole their mineral resources. Then they killed them. What next, one wonders? It would seem that Macmillan did not believe in teaching by example.

TO BE CONTINUED…

LEAN ON ME AUNTY MEG: SHOULD I TAKE HER BACK?

There was this pretty girl I fell in love with in our neighbourhood, she was the only child of her parents. The mother knew of our relationship but always begged me not to have any sexual relationship with her daughter. The advice even got to an embarrassing stage at a point. She made me swear an oath that I would not touch her until our wedding night.
After completing my studies, I went for the mandatory one year National Youth
Service. Fortunately for us, my girl also gained admission into a Polytechnic. I learnt she suddenly got pregnant. On hearing this, my world seemed collapsed. A friend even sent a picture of her in protruding belly to my phone.
She gave birth to a baby girl, but the guy whom she claimed impregnated her refused paternity. Her mother had been sending emissaries to me of late that I should forgive her and take my lover back.
Aunty Meg, what should I do?
---- Shadrack.
Shedrack,
My answer to your question is like this. An elder once told me that giving your enemy another chance in a precarious situation was like providing him/her another bullet to kill you after missing at the first attempt. Therefore instead of wasting your time on this abandoned vessel, why don’t you look for your own wife elsewhere? If the guy who impregnated her had accepted paternity, would she still have come back to you? Wake up Shadrack.
__ Aunty Meg

ADVENTURES OF MR FAARI : ALHAJA KUNBI; NARROW ESCAPE!


You have been inundated with several of my escapades and adventures when I was in the world. A lady fan had sent her experience in her youth days. Carry go!.

My name is Alhaja Kunbi. I am one of the numerous wives of Alhaji Kobiowu, a retired customs officer. As at then, we were all staying in the same town with him outside Lagos. He had a guest house in a remote part of the present day Shangisha. Alhaji Kobiowu is now late, may his soul rest in peace. There was this particular friend of mine that Alhaji had known in his days as customs officer. Her name was Dupe; he claimed the lady was a convicted smuggler. He warned me seriously to distance myself from her. This was a tall order, how could I distance myself from Dupe? We grew up together and went through the adolescent and juvenile escapades.

There was a snag in my marital union with the Alhaji, he was older than me with about thirty years. This age difference did not help matters. He was too reserved and conservative for my liking. He was the old school type. I had two children for him then and we did not lack anything.

While living with the Alhaji was drab and colourless, there was no single dull moment with Dupe Peperempe! That was why I craved her company.

Along the line, Dupe was having her birthday in Lagos. We planned this show stopper of a party together. I did not inform my husband but told him I had some very important business to transact in Lagos. I collected the key of our guest house from him. Immediately I hit Lagos, I went straight to Dupe’s house at Gbagada area of the city. She was already expecting me; I changed into the special attire chosen for the party. We rocked the party till the wee hours of the morning.

I arrived back at our guest louse at about 8:00 am the following morning. What I saw on the door almost made me fainted. Alhaji had already been there, what I was not sure of was whether he slept there or not. This was what he wrote and pinned on the door.                                   Onirin aare lese (wayward woman)

                                    I hope you have a cogent reason for this act. Signed.

In my panicked state I rushed back to Dupe. This was before the advent of mobile phone. After listening to my explanation, she advised me on what to do.

I rushed to our family doctor and explained my plight to him. I did not hide anything from him. He scolded me though, after some amount had exchanged hands, he promised to play ball. He was the one who called Alhaji on land phone and told him that I was rushed to his clinic the previous evening suffering from acute stomach ache. Alhaji swallowed this lie line, hook and sinker.

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, AIDS IS REAL!