POLITICS: AISHA’S OUTBURST; SAVING BUHARI FROM HIMSELF.

The media was Agog with Aisha Buhari’s outburst on how some cabals have hijacked power from her husband and core APC party faithfuls.

Her response to the question asked by the BBC Hausa reporter that what did she think was responsible for the slowness in the government was revealing. Aisha burst out like an overstretched dam. 

Excerpts:

“In my view I am not a government official and I speak as a woman and a mother. It is known that we will not have a smooth four – year tenure. The first problem is the way this government came into being. No one can say I brought this government into power. People came together and said enough is enough. Nearly half of this people are not involved in running it. They have brought some people who are not politicians, People who did not know what we said we would do and not do during the campaigns, some of them have come out to say they are not politicians but they are sitting in political positions.

Don’t forget some separated from their wives because of politics, some lost their children, some women lose their husbands;  there is nothing that did not happen. But now, with the way things are going, I am not happy because we just started the journey; we have not reached the end. We know that some people who labored have not been brought on board but now those who were  brought  and given positions like head of agencies for example, ( you see such a person fighting his state governor  because they couldn’t contest for the seat with him in PDP and the Governor in the APC, they traded insults), Today, such people are the ones calling the shots”.

If people are wondering about the timing of her Outburst, this was not her first attempt. During a dinner party organized in honor of APC women and Youths at the inception of this administration, Aisha had this to say;

“There is nothing people did not say about the past administration. It is not Jonathan that is not good but the people around him. So, the people that are going to be around General Buhari have to be very careful because this election ended peacefully. We are praying and hoping that people around him should know that it took him twelve years to get to that position and they must know that they are coming to serve the masses, Not General Buhari in Person. It is the people that are around him that will determine the political health of our state”.

The salient question here is that in whose interest is Aisha’s comment? Looking at it critically it all boils down to the general interest of Nigeria and Nigerians. Nigerians can only be great when we put our interest aside and put the interest of this great Nation on the top burner. This woman could have just kept quiet like most of the First ladies before her and kept on enjoying the pecks of affluence and power, but she has decided to be on the side of the masses. Perhaps, If Patience Jonathan had toiled this path, her husband would not have lost the election and shown the way out of the Aso rock villa the way he did.

Aisha’s statement has just confirmed the fear of the majority. People have been wondering if this was the CHANGE they bought line hook and sinker and voted for. It has been confirmed that the proponents of CHANGE are not the ones behind the driver’s seat. That is why the vehicle could not more smoothly. We are now in a period of uncertainty and this is dangerous, if we were to be in the military era, what is happening is a veritable excuse for a coup de tat!

How well do we even know about this man Buhari that we put all our hope on him? Here is a man that was told when he was the military head of states that Gen Ibrahim Babangida was planning to overthrow him. He called Babangida and accused him openly. That one did not deny the accusation but gave a flimsy excuse that some people accused him of brandishing a gun during one of their SMC meetings. The issue was laid to rest just like that. Few months later, Babangida swept him aside in a Palace Coup.

Aisha knew her husband inside out. Nigerians should sit up. There is fire on the mountain! Not Yet Uhuru!

ADVENTURES OF MR. FAARI I’M SEARCHING O!

I thank all my admirers. I appreciate those that their interests were more than mere admiration. I also appreciate your condolences on the demise of Bola. “Na so life be!” Some other friends complained that I was too harsh on her. The two Rashidats mentioned had declared me personal non granta in their state. This job na wah o!

Like the Yoruba would say “Ti iku ban pa ojugba eni, Owe lo npa fun ni”. I have learnt one or two lessons from Bola’s death. One is self control over one’s temper and the other is the evil of promiscuity.

I have agreed with my boss to get married as soon as possible, when some busy bodies in our office told him that some ladies were tempting me again, this was how he reacted in Yoruba.

“A ni ka je ekuru ko tan, awon kan tun ngbon owo re sawo!”

You don’t understand that one? You better go and learn Yoruba language. What he meant was that you people are encouraging me to stay unmarried.

Don’t worry, he has given his mandate, I have equally given him my simple conditions too. My request was that if he could help me get any of the ladies posted here, I would settle down fast, fast. You too are not left out in the search o! For easy identification, I have given them names; “Olajimbiti,” is in T – Shirt while the bicycle rider is “Labidi – Kenke!” I wish you all a successful search.

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY; AIDS IS REAL

DR RANDY WAS PLAYING GOD

There was this notorious lecturer when I was in the university. His obsession was anything in skirt. Before our set came on board, this man in his 40s had got two wives. Before we graduated, he added another one, making three wives. Two of these three wives were his students.

He was pursuing a particular girl in our set. This girl turned down his advances, but he kept disturbing her. Unfortunately, he met a friend of mine in the room of this girl during one of his visits. He concluded that it was my friend that was befriending her.

This Randy lecturer was not teaching us any course but he was the Dean of one of the departments. We were taking two core-courses from his department, to our chagrin, this my friend scored D from the two courses. We raised eye brow and our suspicion radar focused on the Dean. We did our private investigation and it revealed that he was the one who instructed his lecturers to deal with our friend for insulting him. He did not tell his acolytes that the feud was over a lady. There was nothing we could do about it, our friend carried his cross.

There was another pathetic story of one pretty girl like that. This girl had told her fiancé to wait till their wedding night. She assured him that she was intact. Our Randy lecturer had toasted her from part one. The lady explained to him that she was already engaged. She even showed him the engagement ring. This wicked man waited for her until she got to the final year. The girl failed his course. When one of her mates who had succumbed to his desire went to him for solace, he turned her back.

“Don’t interfere in this issue o! Your friend is stubborn. When you played ball with me, were you stupid? Is she the only one that has a fiancé? Go back and tell her. If she refused to play ball with me, she would not leave this campus. She would keep on seeing me”. With this, he dismissed the peace maker.

After her second attempt at sitting for the examination, the clueless girl succumbed to his desire.

She allowed this wicked man to deflower her. That was her last journey. She did not return back home. The commercial bus she boarded had head collision with another vehicle and she died instantly.

Few years ago, our Randy lecturer had to observe his sabbatical leave in a university located in a neighboring state. Information had it that he continued in his ways, but time has changed. When I saw his Obituary in the newspapers, I did my private investigation. I was curious, because the reports in the media said he was shot in the chest but the assailants did not take anything away from his car; everything was intact.

My conclusion was that probably our Randy friend had met his nemesis. Boys of nowadays don’t allow God to fight their battles, they take guns and settle the issue.

God have mercy.   

POLITICS: CREATION OF GRAZING ZONES; LAND MINE IN WAITING.

By Femi Abulude

At independence, Nigeria was a relatively peaceful country. The skirmishes we had before then were protests and agitation for independence.

This relative peace was truncated by the 1966 coupists who sent the politicians parking from the political space of Nigeria.

Before you start crucifying  me or justifying the reasons for the coup, which they claimed was corruption in high places, nepotism etc. can one honestly say that the political leaders of that time were more corrupt that those leaders; military and civilians, who took over since 1966. The military who came with the corrective mantra failed woefully.

When General Muritala Mohammed took over from General Yakubu Gowon in a military coup. He set up a military tribunal. The outcome showed that ten out of the twelve military governors were indicted for corruption.

Don’t forget that it was the insensitive and parochial actions of the coupists led by Major Kaduna Nzeogwu that set in motion what led to the civil war. After the war, which claimed millions of lives, Nigeria went back to the cocoon of peace, enjoying the petrol Naira boom.

Another rude kick at the peaceful existence of Nigeria was the misadventure of General Ibrahim Babangida and General Sani Abacha. The political gang mire was amicably settled in the usual Nigerian way and all the warring factions sheathed their swords.

Just from nowhere, Boko Haram group came in the guise of Islamic fundamentalists. The Muslims faithful at the initial stage thought they were genuine. They were soon proved wrong. In no long time, blood letting which was initially targeted at churches spread to markets and mosques! Prominent Northern leaders including Emirs and Village heads were attacked as well. Since the emergency of Boko Haram sect, the whole northern part of Nigeria, especially the North eastern part to be précised had not known peace.

Before the full scale attacks of Boko Haram sect, the Fulani herds’ men were always at logger heads with their host communities all over the country.  They were the ones that turned the peaceful Plateau area to perpetual war zone.

The Fulani’s are nomadic in nature; therefore they could not stay in a place. It has always been fisticuffs with the local farmers who claim that the cattle’s were destroying their farm produce.

The bone of contention now is the purported bill being sponsored in the federal house of parliament for the creation of grazing zones for Fulani herdsmen all over Nigeria. If this bill is passed, this will no doubt create an endless imbroglio.

A typical Fulani herdsman is a violent person. If you are in doubt, go and ask Chief Olu Falae, an elder statesman. The herdsmen did not only vandalize his farm serially, they went ahead and kidnapped him in his own farm and put a ransom on his head. He was lucky to come out alive to tell the story.

The herdsmen are always fully armed. perpetually battle ready. This makes the farmer always vulnerable. They would destroy their farm, rape their women and kill the farmers.

Creating a grazing zone means putting the herdsmen with the farmer in the same locality as permanent and legitimate neighbors. This can not work because a typical Fulani man thinks he has the power and he is superior over any other person any where. They did it with the Hausa Kanuri, the Yoruba in Ilorin, Zuru e.t.c. in the Northern part of the country despite their minority status.

My submission here is that, the herdsmen are in business of farming like any other farmer. Let them purchase their grazing land like cocoa or yam farmers would do anywhere. They should also be ready to comply with the norms of their host communities.

In conclusion, if the President, General Mohammed Buhari (Retd) wants us to believe his much touted statements that he belongs to all, let him treat this issue with fairness, and there would be peace.

OBLIVIOUS TARGET



By Femi Abulude

Anytime I think about this story I am about to recount, I always shudder, at the same time I give thanks to God. My escape from an imminent agonizing death was not by my power or might, it was by divine intervention.

When I was a struggling bachelor and a cub reporter in a pioneer soft sell magazine in Lagos. I rented a two room apartment at Ketu. Our landlord who had three wives was staying in the same house with us then.

One queer thing I noticed about this man was that he did not have a separate room of his own. If he came back from work, he would retire to his sitting room. He slept in any of the rooms of his three wives. My own apartment was sandwiched between the sitting room and three of his own rooms.

Out of these three wives, the last one, who obviously was older than the one in the middle, was the trouble causer of the house. This childless woman was always quarrelling. Her bone of contention with the one in the middle was that the husband did not tell her that he had two wives during their courtship. It had then become a morning ritual to witness the thorough bashing of this errant woman by the husband.

Due to the unpredictable nature of my job, I always left home late in the morning and returned very late in the evening. Because of this, I always witnessed this early morning show of shame. While the man was slapping, kicking and whipping this lady, other wives and neighbours would be making half – hearted attempt at separating the warring duo. I would make sure I separated them and piloted the man to his sitting room. Funny enough, he had never refused this gesture, though grudgingly, he would follow me.

One thing led to another, and this troublesome wife packed out of the house. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.

There was this elderly man called Mr. Aderoju in the house. He was a respectable gentleman, married and had two of his younger brothers staying with him. One evening, the younger of these boys was arrested for wandering by the police. It was an eye witness who knew him that came to report to his brother.

When I got back home that night, Mr. Aderoju knocked on my door and said he had been waiting for me. He narrated the arrest of his brother to me. I calmed him down and promised to follow him to the station the following day as it was late.

We got to the station; I requested to see the Divisional Police Officer in charge of the station. I introduced myself to him and explained our mission. He asked if we were sure that the boy was in his station. Mr. Aderoju answered in affirmative. He gave his name and description. Few minutes later, the young boy was brought to us. He narrated how he was abducted along with others despite the fact that he produced his identity card of the plastic company he was working for. The DPO apologized on behalf of his overzealous boys and released the boy to us.

Mr. Aderoju was full of appreciation. He said “Brother Journalist”, (That was what they called me in that house) “I don’t know how I could express my appreciation. I know you are a very nice person, but what you have done this morning beat my imagination. Just keep on with your good behavior. God will always be your guide”.

I thanked him and told him that it was my pleasure. When we got home, he invited me to his room and closed the door. “What does this man want again?” I thought. He started explaining in whisper how the landlord had put me on surveillance. He said, the man had been suspecting me of having illicit love affairs with his last wife. I did not know how I screamed out. “The troublesome woman?” He answered in affirmative.

He said the man held his suspicion on the boasting of his wife that she was the one that assisted me to purchase my newly bought video set at a cheaper rate from her sister in Idumota market. (This my video set was the first in the whole neighbourhood then). Mr. Aderoju said it was because of this that the landlord sent the woman away. His advice was that I should go and meet the landlord and explain my own side of the story, I should say he was the one who told me.

I could not go to work again on that day. I was waiting for the landlord to come back from work. When he eventually came, I told him that I wanted to have a discussion with him. He said I should wait till the following morning.

When I got to his sitting room the following morning, I met him and his elder brother who used to collect the house rent. He must have sent for him because he was not staying in our house. I greeted them and he motioned me to a seat. At this juncture, Mr. Aderoju too entered the room. I told him what I heard, leaving out the source of the information. I bought out the receipt of the video set, video cassette rewinder and the chromed – iron stand I bought on the same day from a departmental store in Oyingbo market.

He collected the receipts from me perused them and handed them over to his brother, his brother glanced through and handed them to Mr. Aderoju. He read through them too and returned them to me.

It was the elder brother that first spoke. He said they were already preparing my eviction papers as my rent would due in few months time. He said with the receipts and my rebuttal, they would give me benefit of doubt, but still keep me on surveillance.

The landlord said he liked me a lot. He confessed that many at times when I separated him and his wife, he would feel like pouncing on me too, but he would not have the courage to do so. He also confessed his love for this woman. He said he did not send her away as some people believed. He said he only relocated her. He warned me that if there was anything between us, I should put a stop to it otherwise I would regret it. He also threatened that he had instructed some boys in the area where the woman was relocated to deal with me if they sighted me with her.

The elder brother concluded that probably the lady was just boasting in order to make her husband jealous and danced to her tunes.

I thanked all of them and prayed for their children. I later on went to Mr. Aderoju and expressed my appreciation and thanked his wife most especially for advising him to inform me. There and then, I made up my mind to vacate the house, therefore when my rent expired. I packed out willingly.

ALERO JUDAS!

As a young girl in the university I enjoyed life to the hilt. I was even a member of a five girl social club on our campus aptly named “The Glamour Five.” The memberships of this club were not more than five at any given time. If a member or more passed out of the institution, we replaced such members with new applicants.

Apart from organizing social events like beauty pageants, fashion shows, film exhibition and musical concerts, we also served as consultants to those men who were in need of female partners during conferences, political meetings and dinner parties.

As a matter of policy, no member was allowed to have a lover within the precinct of the university. We always kept recalcitrant lecturers at bay with or powerful men outside the campus. Any randy lecture who dared to push things too far did it at his own peril. Our school was a state owned University, so it’s just a matter of pulling the right strings from the ministry and the lecturer would meet his water loo! They knew better and we were always left alone. We even assisted some friendly ones among them to pull strings and enhance their promotions and political appointments. That was how powerful we were.

Despite my various amorous escapades, I still maintained a regular lover outside the campus. Dewale fondly called “Adewalag” (because he schooled in Lagos) was a son of a popular female hotelier in town; he was married to a beautiful daughter of one of the high chiefs in town. This handsome and rich guy was the only man I always had unprotected sex with. I could not just resist him.

Dewale would not hear of condom and I needed his regular supply of money to maintain my status on the campus.

This my indiscretion is the cause of my present predicament. At the last count, I had about six abortions without much ado. When I missed my monthly period again after spending a weekend with Dewale in Abuja, I did not see it as a serious issue. Even after receiving the money for the abortion, I still waited another month before I decided to terminate it.

On the appointed date, the doctor examined me and instructed that I should go for a scan. This was strange, but I obliged. I brought the result back to him. After the initial Pleasantries, he went through it and shook his head. His mien changed and he said in a mellowed tone:

“Nkoyo, I’m afraid you have to go for an operation. This pregnancy is a breach. What it means in a layman’s language is that instead of the fertilization to take place in the uterus, it took place in one of the fallopian tubes..,” what he was saying was too technical for me to comprehend as at then. My major concern was to get rid of the foetus and get going with my Life. I went back to Dewale and he gave me the required funds for the operation. This was performed promptly and it was successful. After few weeks of recuperation, I started my normal way of life again __ “G5 no day carry last!”

After graduation, I entered the world with full throttle. I rocked life is the fullest, but my parents would not allow me to rest. They wanted me to get married at all cost. When my elder brother, Richard, joined in the pressure group, I knew I could not hold on for too long. The recurring topic was marriage, I had to succumb eventually.

There was this handsome guy I met during my first visit to Sweden. I had gone there at Richard’s invitation. One thing led to another, and Soni proposed marriage. I later on realized that it was Richard and his wife that did the match making.

We had to come back home to arrange the wedding ceremony. Unknown to me, Richard had informed our parents about the guy. In a short time, we became man and wife. He turned out to be loving and caring.

 After about three years of marriage and pregnancy did not come, I became jittery. Understandably, pressure had started coming from his family at home.                   

Though, he tried to conceal it, he too had started fidgeting.

I could read it on him. He always had this forlorn look. This was not there at the earlier period of our marriage.

I decided to go for medical checkup. The result? The medical doctor confirmed what I had known; that one of my fallopian tubes was ruptured. The one that pulled the carpet off my feet was that the second tube had been blocked!

I had to rush back to Nigeria to intimate my bosom friend, Alero. She was one of the Glamour five way back in our university days.

She reeled our names of marabouts, priests, Alfas, etc who could be of help. We quickly got the ball rolling; going from one place to another. Spending fortune as we kept on consulting them.

By then, I had got a thriving business in Sweden; therefore, I could afford shuttling between Nigeria and Sweden. At a point, I became ill and Alero had to come to Sweden to take care of me. She had lost her husband in a plane crash some years earlier and her two children were in boarding school. She couldn’t wait for too long though. She had to go back when the holiday time was approaching.

Not long after Alero’s departure, Soni said he had to visit his parents in Nigeria. This trip took his entire annual leave. I became suspicious of this impromptu journey. Was Soni going to bow to the pressure of his parents? Had they got another woman for him in Nigeria? I decided to hope for the best; My Soni would not do such a thing.

We kept on communicating on daily basis. I tried to detect through the tone of his responses if there could be any tell – tale signal of infidelity. Nothing gave him away. Even when he returned, I did not notice any sign.

Not for too long though. One chilling evening, I received an anonymous call from Nigeria if I knew that a lady was carrying my husband’s baby. After dropping the bomb shell, the caller switched off her phone and I couldn’t link up with her again. I allowed the information to sink. I did not confront him immediately. When I eventually plucked up – courage to ask him, he denied it vehemently.

“My Angel, I’m not entirely surprised at such rumour. Many guys and ladies over there were envious when I arrived in Nigeria. This could be their machination. Forget it Nkoyo”.

That was how he dismissed the issue. When I told Richard, he advised me to be calm. My next life of action was to call Alero in Nigeria to help me do espionage on the pregnant lady. Her phone was ringing but she did not pick it. What could have gone wrong? Has she lost her phone? After several days of trying her number, I gave up.

I became confused and restless. I decided to visit Nigeria myself. On such trips, Alero was always handy to welcome me at the airport, but on this fateful trip, Alero was not available and I felt it. When we alighted from the aircraft and concluded the necessary protocols and formalities, I picked a taxi and decided to go straight to Alero’s house at Ogba. At least if she had left the town, there would still be some neighbours who would know her whereabouts.

Alas! Alero was at home. Alero! I screamed. She did not sound too enthusiastic to see me. I tried to hug her but I realized she was spotting a protruding belly. Alero was pregnant! “Wonders shall never end” I thought.

“Alero, how are you? What happened to your phone? I made several attempts at getting in touch with you on phone without luck. You don’t look happy… Why?”

She tried to mumble some words and stopped. Could it be the pregnancy that was taking its toll on my friend? She tried to put up some false pleasantries, but I was not fooled. Something was wrong somewhere, but I could not put my hands on it. I did a fast thinking and told her that I had to rush to Abuja that day that I would see her in three days time. I picked my load again and dragged them out of her house on the street. I flagged down the next available taxi and drove straight to Airport hotel in the neighbourhood.

After settling down in my room, I decided to call some of my other friends in town. The first one I called, Kike, gave me the clue to my worries. In fact, she was the one behind the anonymous call I received in Sweden. She dropped the bomb shell. She revealed that it was guilty conscience that was troubling Alero. She disclosed that the pregnancy Alero was carrying belonged to my husband. She made several frantic efforts to terminate it, but Doctors advised her that it was too risky to attempt. That was why she left the pregnancy. I thanked Kike and hung the phone.

“Alero, pregnant for Soni! My mind flashed back to her last visit to us in Sweden. I recollected my suspicion on Soni is sudden vacation trip to Nigeria. So this was what it was all about? The battle line is drawn. I can never allow Alero to spoil my joy.