POLITICS WHERE IS YOUR LION? WHERE IS YOUR BEAR?

By Femi Abulude

The title of this article is credited to Mrs. Dolapo Osinbajo the wife of the Vice President of Federal Republic of Nigeria, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo. This brilliant lady made an inference to what David said in (1 Samuel 17:34-36) when he was confronting the war Lord, Goliath. “But David said to Saul, your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock. I went out after it and struck it and deliver the lamb from its mouth, and when it arose against me, I caught it by its bear and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God”

According to Dolapo, David relied on his previous exploits that was what gave him the confidence and audacity to face the intimidating giant Goliath. She made this statement in the concluding part of her closing remark during the 4^th Annual Birthday lecture of Pastor Enoch Adeboye, the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG). The lecture was delivered by erudite lecturer, Professor Jide Osuntokun.

The lady advised that if any politician knocks on our doors and solicits for our votes, we should ask him/her for his or her lion or bear. What she is simply saying was that if you want our votes, you should let us know your previous achievements.

Your previous achievements could be at any level of endeavor. What have you done in your Local Community? What did you do when  in school? What have you contributed no matter how small to benefit the life of people?

God is so passionate about the poor and masses. He knows their weakness and vulnerability. Jesus said the poor are blessed because theirs is the Kingdom of God. (Luke 6:20b) our leaders don’t appreciate this; they cheat the poor and make them more impoverished. Probably if we have been asking them salient questions and making them accountable for their previous actions, governance would not have fallen into the hands of adventurists, fraudulent and selfish individuals. When these people get into office, they become power drunk and fallible because they have nothing to build on, unlike David who built on his exploits in the jungle to defeat Goliath on the battle field.

Some of these politicians bought their ways into the corridor of power, playing on the vulnerability of the hungry masses. Most of them had the opportunities but wasted them. They had the opportunities of slaying lions and bears but allowed the rampaging animals to escape with their loots. These set of politicians should be blocked out completely.

Succinctly put this phrase, “Where is your Lion? Where is your Bear?” should be our watch words as we are marching towards  another election period.

God will guide us aright.              

WHAT DECEPTION HAS JOINED......

By Femi Abulude

Brother Michael was a converted Christian. He gave his life to Christ during one of our outreach crusades. Since he joined our church he had not hidden his interest in me. He made it so obvious that people were already calling him my husband at my back. As a new convert he went through all the normal workers trainings and did baptism by emersion.

Everybody was impressed by his zeal and enthusiasm in the work of God. He eventually approached our pastor and disclosed his intention to marry me. This was the normal protocol in our church the pastor called and briefed me accordingly he said both of us should go and pray over it and sick God’s face. After these, we should come back to tell him because God must speak to us.

The pastor called me few weeks later and said brother Michael had intimated him that God had revealed to him that I was his wife. This came as a surprise because God had not spoken to me about this issue. I told our pastor this but he said it did not matter and that both of us should give it a trial. He later on called both of us together in a meeting and introduced us to the marriage counselors in our church. That was how we started our marriage counseling programme I did not find it difficult introducing him to my parents because they knew him already. He played the drums in the church and more over, they had been pressurizing me for marriage. He was good looking and had a respectable job. Within eight months of our courtship, we had our marriage ceremony. Neither of his parents took active part in the ceremony. It was his elder sister and her husband that represented his parents. I got curious and asked him why this was so, he said his parents were not in support of the marriage because they were against his conversion to Christianity.

The first bomb shell came after the exchange of marital vow. Right there on the altar, brother Michael did the abominable. He shouted ‘Allau – Akbar’ three times and same rough looking guys chorused “Allau-Akbar form the congregation. There was a confusion and pandemonium in the church. His followers left the church chanting their refrain. Brother Michael stayed put and completed the church ceremony. When we got to the reception hall, his Muslim friends had almost taken over all the seats. I have never been exposed to ridicule like that in my life.

          When we got to his house later on in the evening, brother Michael brought out his praying mat, Tesbil and kettle. I watched in horror as he did his abolition and prayed right there on the mat. Since, then it had become a regular occurrence. I was not against the Islam religion but this sudden transformation baffled me.

          Understandably, he had stopped attending the Church. When I queried him over his sudden actions, he answered in a rude voice that I was his attraction to the Church and since he had won me over, he was satisfied. He knew what he was talking about, because our Church forbids divorce, no matter the cause or challenges one is facing under that vow. It was the matter of “till death do us apart” once the marriage had been consummated.

          As if this deceit was not enough, another bomb shell was waiting for me when he did not extend any amorous feelings towards me, I thought it was because of what he did. Both of us were living together as strangers. When after several months, he failed to tamper with my virginity I went to our pastor and complained bitterly to him about my ordeal. He called his wife and told her what I had just said. The wife was enraged and blamed me for not reporting this in good time

“Ah! We thought it was the issue of his religion that you were copping with, this one is beyond me o! Pastor what shall we do now? That was the pastor’s wife lamenting.

          The pastor wrote a letter inviting him for a meeting he said I should go home and that he would find a way how the letter would get to him. When he got the letter, he refused to honor the invitation, he claimed that the pastor did not have authority over him because he was not a Christian.

I reported him to his sister and her husband. Surprisingly, this was not new to them; she said it was an open secret among his immediate family that Brother Michael was impotent. Her advice to me was to find a way of satisfying myself sexually and if it resulted it pregnancy, I should leave it the family would claim it. This would also make Michael happy.

I broke down and wept sorrowfully what have I led myself into? The church insisted “NO DIVORCE” his family said I should go on fornicating. “Ah this fake Michael had destroyed me. I am thinking of committing suicide as a way out of this shame and gang mire.

What do you think?

LEAN ON ME AUNTY MEG

Dear Aunty Meg,

          I’m impressed how you have been helping people solved their problems. I hope you would be able to help me out of my present predicament.

          I am in love with this guy, in fact we have set in motion our marriage plans before I got to know that he had been deceiving me all alone. We started our relationship on a platonic note right from our secondary school days.

          When I gained admission into the University in the South Eastern part of Nigeria he claimed he had been admitted into a polytechnic at the North Western part of the country. He later on went for his national youth service. I completed mine a year earlier than his because of the mandatory one year industrial attachment for national diploma courses. I then proceeded on my masters programme

          My problem started when a cousin of his claimed that my lover had not gone to any higher institution. She said he had been deceiving me all along. When I confronted him, his answer baffled me. He said what had education got to do with love and marriage. On further enquires, I realized that he had been deceiving me. What should I do Aunty? ----- Jelly

RESPONSE

Dear jelly,

          Accept my sympathy on your present predicament. This guy has no doubt betrayed your trust and love. This is deceit written in capital letters. Apart from the fact that both of you are no longer on the same plane social status wise, he is not also trustworthy. Only God knows what he could do next.

          A house built on quick sand without solid foundation will surely collapse. Count your teeth with your tongue sister!

___ Aunty Meg

ADVENTURES OF MR FAARI : BIBI IDI-IKAN!

By Femi Abulude

Bibilari, Bibi for short was my school mate way back then. This girl was of average

height and pretty, her problem was her forlorn look. We used to call her sad Bibi at her back. Some even gave her the sobriquet “the face that never smiles!” Rumour had it that she was a product of broken home. Some people also called her “Idi-Ikan” I know you will be interested in knowing the meaning of that word. You will have to take a course in Yoruba language or better still, I will introduce you to my boss, who has connections with ALAROYE newspaper. What I know is that Adebisi Idi – Ikan used to be a wealthy man in the ancient city of Ibadan in the olden days.

          Trust Faari, I made several attempts at breaking her iron curtain to no avail. All my tricks and efforts to court her friendship failed woefully then, after an unpleasant encounter. I decided to call on her one Friday evening and expressed how I felt for her she blurted out thus:

          “Faari or what do they call you, whom do you think you are? You always carry yourself as if your father owns the central bank. I hate you. You irritate me! Don’t ever come across my path again. For your information, I cannot date a wretched lousy guy like you.” She hissed and spat, the spit fell on my well polished brown shoe. Bibi left me standing there stupefied. Me Faari, Omo onikoko! No girl has ever talked to me like that. The cold war continued until we left school for higher institution.

          Our path crossed again recently during our class mates re-union meeting. Bibi has not changed a hoot we learnt she lost her husband in a ghastly auto crash she was still her sad self all our efforts to make her happy failed woefully. I was the master of ceremony everybody was laughing and enjoying the jokes, but not Bibi. You need to see the group photograph taken after the event. Bibi was the stone face at the extreme left side of the picture. When I gave a joke of a mask face which never smiled when we were in school all eyes turned to Bibi, but she was unperturbed

          I called her on phone four days after the outing, she picked her call quite alright attempt and her response put me off balance.

“Faari is that you? Many things had happened since we left school. I liked you way back then, but we were too young for what you were asking. However I enjoyed the looks on your face anytime I put up that my forlorn look. I was not as bad as you thought. Your perception of me was your own imagination. My friends told me all the names you created for me. They were amusing though. But where you got the Idi-Ikan sobriquet baffled me. A friend said probably it was because of my hips. Faari you were my friend at large. We can still be friends. Faari? Are you still there?” I did not know what to say. Am I dreaming? Someone should wake me up now….

BEHAVE REPONSIBLE; AIDS IS REAL.

POLITICS OPINION: NIGERIA POLITICS: JOGGING ON THE SAME SPOT

By Femi Abulude 

The question on the lips of well meaning Nigerians and friends of the country is “Is

Nigeria Jinxed?” The   reason behind this question is not far fetched. All positive efforts to make the Nation work had always met brickwall. She got her independence in 1960 from the British Colonialists after several years of agitations by some patriotic elements on the political landscape then. The enthusiasm was infectious. The new nation had all what it needed to be great.

This hope for greatness was cut short few years later by military adventurists. Thus the political gladiators of the first republic were shot out of existence. Civil war ensued, many lives were loss and since then it has been stories of woes. Along the line, mother luck smiled on Nigeria, she struck crude oil in commercial quantities and we started spending money like the biblical prodigal son.

After years of political acrobatics, democracy was re-instated for the second time in 1999 instead of serving the people, the “New Breed” politicians started milking the populace. The unfortunate thing is that most of the fire-brand Gadflies who fought the military government to stand still could not make it to the political driving seat. The fortunate ones are the military apologies whom the military leaders were using as cannon fodders during their regimes.

Several political parties fought for elections in 1999, PDP got the highest votes; they won the presidency, most of the states and the two Federal Houses; Senate and House of Representatives. This was the commencement of the period of the jackals. It was free for all. Everybody was in-charge; there was no respect for party supremacy. Impunity was the order of the day. Democratic norms were thrown overboard. Nigeria became a pun in the hands of PDP for about sixteen years. Things eventually fell apart and the centre could not hold again for PDP, the self praised largest political party in Africa. Despite the federal election that was drawing near then, the broken china of the PDP were scattered all over the place and nobody could gather the pieces.

It was at this period that All Progressive Congress (APC) came with the “Change” Mantra with want of credible alternative to PDP Nigerians fell for the “Change” Slogan. Yours truly enthusiastically composed a song then. It goes thus:

“This wind of change

That is blowing in our land

Let it touch us all

Positively for that matter

Lets feel it oh!

Chineke meh

Abasi nbo

Obangiji

Metalokan o!

Let it touch us all”

The slogan worked. Table turned and APC won the elections at the centre. It unseated the sitting President, Goodluck Jonathan and Gen Mohammed Buhari got convenient majority members in the Senate and House of Representatives, the party won most of the states. That put an end to sixteen years rule of PDP. We thought Eldorado had come, how wrong we were!

Politic is a game of numbers. While in the quest for power, APC threw its doors and windows opened for all comers. This free for all entrance allowed the influx of dregs and disgruntled elements of PDP into APC. Most of the discredited former state governors and members who already had cases with Economics and Finance Crime Commission (EFCC) found their ways into the Senate and House of Representatives, some were even made ministers under APC. Within a short time, they became a formidable force within the party. They overpowered and over-shadowed the original owners of APC. Before we knew it, APC became Pseudo PDP.

It was their perpetual transfer of acts impunity and camaraderie that was responsible for the emergence of Ike Ekeremadu, a staunch PDP Leader as the Deputy Senate President. This was unprecedented in the annals of political history of Nigeria. This is pure evidence of APC being the two sides of a Coin. As if this was not enough, a Former PDP Chairman, Audu Ogbe, is the present Minister of Agriculture in Buhari government. The Senate President, Olusola Saraki, who has become a recalcitrant, was a two term Governor of Kwara State under PDP.

The unfortunate thing is that all positive efforts to move Nigeria forward by Buhari Government are being thwarted by these PDP elements in APC. They have seen APC as a safe haven against prosecution for their earlier committed financial crimes. These set of powerful elements in the Senate refused to approve, Ibrahim Magu, whom Buhari presented as the Chairman of EFCC. You can now appreciate why this war against corruption could not achieve much and the nation has been on a permanent state of stagnancy after more than two years of being on the saddle.

The crux of the matter is that our expectations are too high due to what we went through in the hands of PDP hawks. These expectations had beclouded our sense of judgment we are expecting someone coming fresh from the toilet to be smelling of roses. The home truth is that PDP has polluted APC to the extent that the venom has rendered it incapacitated that is why the wind of change could not blow. The President is always gasping for breath at the enormousity of the challenges, we are jogging quite alright, but we have not moved from the same spot.

The interesting thing now is that another election would soon come and the remnants  of the PDP are warming up. Even some decampees are returning to the party. You can now realize that the whole exercise is just personal aggrandizement and not service to the people.

The general consensus now is that we are tired of all these recycled elements. It is obvious that they cannot move Nigeria forward. They have got to their wit-end. They cannot perform more than what we have seen and experienced. They should give way or better still we should shove them aside and allow new and fresh idea to take over the political driver’s seat. The action should start now.

CAGED

By Femi Abulude

Peju was introduced to me as a business partner by Lasun. If his reputation with women was anything to go by, there would be more to it than just business associates. It did not take long before I was proved right. Peju was economically buoyant no doubt about it, and she used to dole out money to her close associates. True to type, she was enhancing Lasun’s business. When we became closer, she also showed interest in my business. She sent a sum of N250,000 through one of her friends called Tinuke. I called her on phone and expressed my appreciation. I also told Lasun and implored him to help me thank her.

Few months later, Lasun brought an invitation card of a funeral ceremony. He said the late Chief was Tinuke’s Uncle. I know this girl, she was the one Peju sent with the money she gave me, Lasun also gave me the cap material chosen for the party.

When we were preparing to take off for the party, Lasun advised that I should put on white coloured agbada Lace materials as he had done, I obeyed him. I later realized that Peju and her friend, the celebrant wore white Lace materials too. Come and see the spectacle. The four of us turned, out like two jolly couples, with purple head gear and cap to match.

Well wishers and invited guests were coming to exchange pleasantries with Tinuke. Some were even giving her gifts. I was hearing some of them whispering to her “S’awon niyen?” meaning “Is he the one?” insinuating if I was her husband. Surprisingly Tinuke was answering them in affirmative! I called Lasun aside and intimated him on this development. He explained that Tinuke had separated from her husband long time ago. That the guy had even travelled abroad and re-married. Since that episode she had been very wary of men.

 I felt a little relaxed, hoping that the play acting role would end after the party. How wrong I was? Few days later, Peju called me and said I should see her because she had a very important issue to discuss with me, what could it be? We have not seen each other after the party. It was only Tinuke that called to express her appreciation.

On the appointed date, I met Peju in her shop already waiting for me. I was ushered into her office. Everything about this lady smelt of wealth. After the initial pleasantries and appreciation for honouring her friends invitation to the party, she went straight to the point. “Mr. Olajide my friend said she liked you and would want both of you to start a relationship. Tinuke is a nice lady. “I’ve known her right from our secondary school days. Since then we had remained inseparable. She can never be a problem to you, instead she can add value to your life”. What answer should I provide for this poser? I asked myself .

Before I could say anything the door of the rest room flung opened and Tinuke emerged beaming with smile. “Ranti how are you? Thank you for the other day” Just like that! It has now become Ranti and not Mr. Olajide that she was calling me before. Peju just changed the topic. After some general gists, she called one of her maids and sent for food. She instructed her aloud to be fast. She came back in a jivy. When she set the table, the meal was arranged in two places, meaning I had to eat with Tinuke. That was how the relationship evolved.

Tinuke said she was looking for a more befitting house as the one she was staying was too small for her. She eventually got one at Mowe. According to the care – taker of the new house, the Landlord had given a stern warning not to give out the house to either a bachelor or a single lady. That was how I was drafted into the rent issue. She had to fill the form as my wife and I countered signed as her husband. It looked strange, “Mrs. Olajide” when the real Mrs. Olajide was at home! After some months, Tinuke claimed she was pregnant. I kicked against this and told her to terminate it. She refused and started calling me unprintable names. I stormed out of her house in annoyance and stopped picking her calls, I didn’t pick Peju’s calls as well.

When I told my friend Lasun about the development he thought it was funny. “Ranti, these ladies can take care of themselves, why are you bothering yourself over nothing?” He waved it off “Lasun, its easier said than done. See what you have caused. Can you face my wife and tell her what has happened and the roles you played or better still, if Peju gets pregnant for you can you look your wife in the face and reveal it to her? I now realized how stupid I had been listening to you”. I stormed out of his office in anger.

Out of desperation, Tinuke came to my house one Saturday morning. It was my wife that opened the door. I followed her to see who was at the door it was Tinuke! She brought out a sheet of paper and said she was looking for a certain number on the street. My wife told her that she has come to a wrong place. What an irony! Tinuke thanked her, gave me a cold look and left. I heaved a sigh of relief. I am already in a cage. Who knows what she would do next? Tinuke is at the verge of breaking my home. What can I do now?

ADVENTURES OF MR FAARI: SISI BONSUE AND EVIL SPIRIT

By Femi Abulude

Sola gentle is the owner of our drinking joint at Keth in the olden days. We called her

Sola gentle in her presence but when she was not within hearing shot, we called her Sola mental! She was very erratic. You could never predict her next move.

A friend, Kola, was befriending her. She was the one who openly told our friend that she liked him. That was how they started this amorous relationship. They went out together one weekend and became sworn enemies thereafter. When we asked Kola, what went wrong, he lamented that he could not really explained what happened. He said Sola just started throwing tantrums without any reason. All our efforts to settle the quarrel failed woefully.

When Sola introduced a friend of hers to me, I had my reservations. My opinion was the age long saying that “Show me your friend and I will tell you your character.” She was fondly called Sisi Bonsue, she was beautiful and caught my fancy. We were told that her finance died few weeks to their wedding ceremony and since then, she had not got any stable affairs. I decided to give her a trial. If you like, call me “Oloju ko mun o lo” (Womanizer). Sisi Bonsue was loving and caring, she was buying gifts for me. When last did a lady buy gift for Faari?. That was in the era of Dayo Falade, Bola For Sure and Iya Obokun. The rest were Iya Kalokalo!  They were out to milk me dry; the worst was Mercy Ogbodu.

The merry-go-round was not for long. It seemed evil spirit was following her, several terrible things started happening that I had to follow a friend to the prayer mountain to ward off the seemingly evil spirit.

The plane Sisi Bonsue and I boarded to Abuja on a weekend trip narrowly escaped crash landing. As if that was not enough, the taxi that was carrying us to the hotel got burnt after passing the Abuja National Stadium. That same night some dare devil armed robbers visited our hotel and dealt with all the occupants mercilessly.

When I got to Lagos, a query was waiting for me for missing a very important news story of national importance. It look the grace of God before I could be left off the look, I could have lost my job.

These were the reasons behind my striking Bonsue out of my system then.

 

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, AIDS IS REAL!