A PAWN IN THEIR HAND

By Femi Abulude

I grew up knowing two women as my mothers. One was mama Tolu, while the other one was mama Akin. Was I not blessed with two women caring for me? This initial bliss was short lived.

Mama Tolu was my biological mother while mama Akin was my father’s legal wife. My father was a federal government employee transferred to Ilesha in the 70s. He met my mother who was just leaving the secondary school. He was much older than my mother but he told her that his wife has deserted him way back in Lagos.

The relationship blossomed and he got my mother impregnated in the process. Their parents were the first to notice her state of pregnancy. When he was called upon, my dad did not deny the paternity and her parents could not support abortion either, that was how I came into being

Before my birth, my dad had been transferred back to Lagos. That was when the truth came out. My dad’s wife, mama Akin was all the while waiting and looking forward to when her husband would be transfer back to Lagos. It seemed her prayers and that of her four children had been answered. Therefore, when he got back to Lagos, he was welcomed into the warm embraced of his family.

When my mum’s parents heard about the deceit of this Lagos man, they consoled each other and sent their daughter back to school after she gave birth to me. They took custody of me until I became eight years old.

After my eight years birthday, a strange man and some of his friends came visiting with a car. He was introduced to me as my father. I was confused; my grandpa said I would have to continue my education in Lagos. They packed my few belongings into a bag and I followed them. That was the beginning of my tears, sorrow and blood.

The whole household saw me as an intruder right from the onset. At every meal, I was always made to eat the leftovers of everybody no matter the size of the meal, I must finish it, thus I became a glutton without realizing It.

At that tender age, I became a sex object in the hands of my step sister who was about eighteen years old and my cousin, brother Abbey. It was this brother Abbey that deflowered me at age of nine and he continued doing it till I became twelve years old, when he travelled out of the country.

My stepsister, sister Vic would undress and ask me to be leaking her cunt. If I didn’t do it properly she would slap me. I get used to all these acts and started putting them into practice. I realized that boys saw me as a game and because I enjoyed it two, I became a ready made pun in their hands. News was going round on how good I was in bed. I had to change schools on two occasions because of my sexual escapades. I became pregnant at age 17 and my daddy sent me packing. By this time I had left secondary school with good grade. The baby came out to be a girl.

I took a job as a clerk. I had grown in stature because of my good looks and sexual prowess; I was able to change jobs at will. I eventually got a good one after my graduation in a computer college. With this, I was comfortable enough to take care of my self and my daughter.

All my siblings were doing fine. They were resident in America, but used to come home regular. Sister Vic would always spoil me and my daughter with money and gifts. Could these be her own way of restituting her past actions?

The boy that impregnated me and denied came with his parents. He wanted my hand in marriage. They now realized that my daughter was a replica of his mother.

Brother Abbey became a pastor but I still detested him like a plague. They sent invitation cards but, inviting us to the dedication of his church’s headquarters. After some persuasions by sister Vic. I decided to attend the ceremony in company of my fiancé.

On the D - day, the church was jammed packed. In attendance were my dad and step mother. The gathering was more or less a family re-union.

Brother Abbey climbed the pulpit and started preaching. He was in his elements. The whole congregation was listening with rapt attention. He got to a point where he said “Everything hidden was known to God…” or something like that and he continued.

“…there is a confession I want to make today, today is a special day in my life. There was this sin that I committed when I was a teenager. There was this helpless and hapless cousin of mine that I took advantage of. She was a helpless tool in my hands. I abused her at will… I want her to forgive me and I pray for forgiveness from the Lord…”

He continued like a possessed man. Several familiar faces turned towards my direction and I felt as if the ground could open and swallow me. I felt so ashamed.