My Name is Mr Fari l won’t let you know more than that about my identity. As you would soon realise as events unfold, I’m a fun seeker and I like to enjoy life to the fullest.
If you had been following the hard copy of
AFFECTION magazine, Mr Fari would not be strange to you. No pretence about it.
My own column is an espose on my escapades. Enjoy yourself, have fun. This life
is too short for someone not to have the best of it. Sadness and I are two arch
enemies. Read my story probably you may have one or two lessons to learn. Play
save though, always have yourself protected.
Two weeks had passed and I am still smiting
over the encounter I had with Queen. Imagine, my friend’s wife insulted me and
I could not do anything about it. Let me quickly explain what transpired
between us before you start insinuating what was not.
Bobby and his wife, Queen have just packed
into our area. It was the wife Queen that I first met. The first time I sighted
this ravishingly beautiful woman, she was walking in front of me and from that
vantage position, she reminded me of Debola, my former campus girlfriend who
eloped with a multi- millionaire (Debola story is for another day)
Queen was tall, light in complexion and she
walked with a gait of a queen. Her name fitted her. I parked my car beside this
African queen and offered to take her to the bus stop. She entered and
expressed her appreciation.
I introduced myself and enquired where she
was going under the scorching sun. One thing led to another and we started
chatting. Before we knew it, we have already got to the bus stop, she had to
dis-embark and I promised to see her some other time. Before she left we
exchanged our telephone numbers.
I was the first to call her. She expressed
her appreciation again for the assistance rendered, but warned me to desist
from calling her at home. I understood what she meant, and I limited my call to
official hours when she would be in the office.
All the while, I have never met the
husband. As providence will have it, or should I call it ill luck. I met the
husband in an un-usual manner we were in the middle of a drinking binge in our
usual beer joint one evening, when this middle aged man sauntered in. he introduced
himself to us as Bobby and started chatting with everybody as if we were old
pals. The guy was full of life and his friendly mien was contagious. He stood
up excused himself and went on to have a short discussion with mama Asuquo, the
owner of the joint.
When he came back to his seat, a sales girl
followed him with assorted bottles of beer, “Gentle men, this uncle …” pointing
at Bobby “… said we should serve you these bottles of beer” The girl went ahead
and served the said beer.
As we were thanking him one after the other
for the gift, Bobby said, “Oh, girl, please serve us plates of pepper soup as
well.”
From that moment onward, Bobby and I became
friends we always met at the beer joint. One day after our usual drinking
spree, he invited me to his house. There I met Queen! Both of us were
surprised, but we quickly got over the initial shock. Bobby, introduced us and
he told Queen to bring us food and both of us ate. Whenever my eyes met Queen’s
she would raise her eye brow as if she was asking.”How come” or “what is
happening?”
After that encounter, I deleted Queen’s
number from my phone and refused to take her calls. Bobby and I continued with
our friendship and I continued eating in his house. I have also invited him to
my house too a couple of times.
As should be expected, Queen’s attitude
changed and she started giving me cold shoulder treatment whenever I went to their house.
The
issue got to a head one day. My car was faulty, and I had to take a cab home.
Guess what? Sitting directly beside me was Queen. I greeted her, she I did not
answer. When it was the time to pay for the fare, I paid for both of us. I was
expecting her to thank me, but in stead, she burst out, her voice almost
inaudible. “Keep your money… I hate you. Every part of my body hates you.”
“Why should you hate me Queen? What is my
offence? Your husband is my friend...” Queen did not allow me to finish my
sentence before she exploded!
“That is your headache. The information I
heard about you was different.”
“Look, woman, you are a very beautiful
woman, someday I could move with and I was thinking along that possibility
before I met your husband who has turned out to be a likeable and intimate
friend just of a sudden. As you were told, “awo is still de le”, but I don’t do
it with my friend’s wife, no matter the provocation or beauty.”
“Fari you are a stupid man. I even hate you
the more with that bus conductor’s language. Any day I see you in our house
again on your eating and drinking spree with my husband I will lace your food
with rat poison. I will even buy the rat poison today…. useless man.”
We were talking to each other at the back
of the car as if we were having a casual discussion, therefore the driver and
the other passenger sitting beside him could not hear us.
When we got to our bus stop. Queen stormed
out of the cab. What type of crisis is this? What reason would I give Bobby for
not coming to his house again? Should I dance to Queen’s tune and betray a
friend’s? I asked store friends for advice. Some said I should play along with
her while some said if the husband should know, he might kill me with magun.
What should I do now? Should I start dating
Queen and dare magun or continue with my friendship with Bobby and eat rat
poison? Please let me know your opinion fast.
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