ADVENTURES OF MR. FAARI: TONIA HAS COME FOR RETURN LEG

Guess who came calling last weekend? It was Tonia. You don’t know Tonia? Are you that forgetful? She was the girl we picked at Ekpoma on our way to Agbor! Tonia came to Lagos live and direct and as usual I did not disappoint her.

When the receptionist buzzed me that I had a visitor in her Office and that her name was Tonia. I knew I had to cancel all other engagements I had for that weekend. I instructed her to send her in.

She burst in like a rocket and started accusing me of not phoning her or picking her calls.

“You Lagos guys are all the same. You could not call me and when I called, you refused to pick my calls. Well if your mountain refused to come to my Mohammed, My Mohammed has decided to come to your mountain”. She concluded I could not even say a word. I was thinking of the birthday party I had for that evening. I apologized for my inability to call her and informed her of the party I had that evening. My earlier intention was to go to the party from the office but because of Tonia, I had to go home so that she could fresh up and change to more decent clothes.

Tonia’s presence in my office has really destabilized me. I could not concentrate again. She was feeding on me with her eyes and checking on her wrist watch intermittently. Why the hurry? You’ll ask.

Immediately I finish the file on my table, I left the office with Tonia. When we got home, I did not bargain for what I saw, my intention was for both of us to fresh up, change our dresses and go for the party. It was meant to be a cock tail affair among few friends.

“Faari, (that was Tonia calling me) we are not attending any party. We are having our own party here. You should also inform your other girls to steer clear of this house until Monday. My dear, you are under house arrest!”

I opened my mouth, I could not close it, When I regained my speech, I said “Tonia, what you are doing is tantamount to kidnap, are you from the South – South? “Call it what you like lover boy; If you like call me a militant!” She fired back.

A song came to my mind and I started humming it:

“Efrebor, Efrebor you go…”

Don’t tell me you don’t know that song.

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY; AIDS IS REAL.