Tuesday 19 December 2017

ADVENTURES OF MR FAARI: SISI BONSUE AND EVIL SPIRIT


By Femi Abulude
Sola gentle is the owner of our drinking joint at Keth in the olden days. We called her
Sola gentle in her presence but when she was not within hearing shot, we called her Sola mental! She was very erratic. You could never predict her next move.

A friend, Kola, was befriending her. She was the one who openly told our friend that she liked him. That was how they started this amorous relationship. They went out together one weekend and became sworn enemies thereafter. When we asked Kola, what went wrong, he lamented that he could not really explained what happened. He said Sola just started throwing tantrums without any reason. All our efforts to settle the quarrel failed woefully.

When Sola introduced a friend of hers to me, I had my reservations. My opinion was the age long saying that “Show me your friend and I will tell you your character.” She was fondly called Sisi Bonsue, she was beautiful and caught my fancy. We were told that her finance died few weeks to their wedding ceremony and since then, she had not got any stable affairs. I decided to give her a trial. If you like, call me “Oloju ko mun o lo” (Womanizer). Sisi Bonsue was loving and caring, she was buying gifts for me. When last did a lady buy gift for Faari?. That was in the era of Dayo Falade, Bola For Sure and Iya Obokun. The rest were Iya Kalokalo!  They were out to milk me dry; the worst was Mercy Ogbodu.

The merry-go-round was not for long. It seemed evil spirit was following her, several terrible things started happening that I had to follow a friend to the prayer mountain to ward off the seemingly evil spirit.

The plane Sisi Bonsue and I boarded to Abuja on a weekend trip narrowly escaped crash landing. As if that was not enough, the taxi that was carrying us to the hotel got burnt after passing the Abuja National Stadium. That same night some dare devil armed robbers visited our hotel and dealt with all the occupants mercilessly.

When I got to Lagos, a query was waiting for me for missing a very important news story of national importance. It look the grace of God before I could be left off the look, I could have lost my job.

These were the reasons behind my striking Bonsue out of my system then.

 

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, AIDS IS REAL!         

POLITICS: MADU, SEUN AND STABILIZER


By Femi Abulude
There is this vibrant middle aged guy of Igbo extraction in my neighbourhood. His name is Maduabuchi but we fondly call him Madu. He is into electronics merchandise at Idumota Market in Lagos Island. He even claimed he has another branch at Alaba International Market along Badagry expressway, in Lagos. Madu is always ready to deliver electronics appliances and electrical wires at cheaper rates to willing residents.

Madu has also caught the Biafra bug. His voice was always the loudest among his peers whenever they were discussing national issues. Understandably, he always defended the Biafra course.

The following discussion took place between Madu and one of his friends Seun recently.

MADU:     Oga Seun, is it true that if we succeeded in this Biafra mandate, all the Igbos in Lagos would go home?

SEUN:       Madu, I am afraid, it would not only be in Lagos but throughout Nigeria. That is the home truth.

MADU:     What would then happen to my property here and my shops at Idumota and Alaba?

SEUN:       You may have to leave them or sell them. If you don’t want to do these, you may decide to carry them along with you.

MADU:     Carry them to where, Oga Seun?

SEUN:       To your village of course!

MADU:     You can’t be serious Oga Seun. Is it possible to carry house? Is it also true that I’ll have to obtain visa to come back to Nigeria?

SEUN:       Madu don’t put me in trouble. Is it possible for you to travel to another country without obtaining visa?

MADU:     So Nigeria would now become another country if we achieved Biafra?

SEUN:       Madu, provide the answer yourself. Please let us put an end to this discussion. I am no longer comfortable with it. How much is a set of stabilizer? I need a new one for my computer.

MADU:     Oga Seun you are dodging my question.

SEUN:       Madu, me, I no know book!” When you are going to Idumota tomorrow call on me, so that you can collect the money for the stabilizer. I need it urgently.

MADU:     I get your message Oga Seun. We really need to stabilize this our country, Nigeria…

MADU:     (sings) This Nigeria na we own make he no pafuka…

JUST ONE SHOT!


By Femi Abulude
There was not much for me to do in the office on that day, being the last working day of the week and of the month I hit the road. Surprisingly too, the road was free of the usual traffic jam. It was therefore an easy ride home listening to my favourite music.

I was about 500 metres to the bus stop that branched to my house when I sighted this pretty lady at the bus stop. Before I could get to her, she had started flagging me down. I slowed down my vehicle and rolled down the side glass. I packed beside her. She begged for a lift and I signaled for her to enter. She did and that was the genesis of my predicament.

After the initial pleasantries, where she said she was going was about two bus - stops after my own. I offered to drop her there. Her next statement startled me. “Don’t tell me you are going home straight. What would a young man like you be doing at home at this time of the day? Helping madam with household chores? “She teased”.

I stole a glance at her beside me. This girl really has guts I thought.

“Come of it, men like you should have a social club to retire to at the end of a day work” she continued. “If you don’t mind a friend of mine has a small drinking joint down the road. We can branch there and get to know each other better. “This lady was un-usually too forward” I mused. Curiosity took the better of me. I followed her like a walking zombie. Her name was Nkiru.

When we got to her friends place, it came out to be a Beer Parlour. But unfortunately, the place was not too far away from the shop of one of the elders of our church. After settling down, I told Nkiru this. She called her friend whom I later knew was called Mama Asuquo and discussed briefly with her. She came back and said Mama Asuquo would follow me to the fuel filling station near the joint. This was where I packed my car. When I came back, they had re - arranged our sitting position.

Mama Asuquo served us drinks and pepper soup. Nkiru topped her own with Nkwobi. This lady could drink. Within a spate of one hour, she had drunk three bottles of big stouts. She disclosed that she was a single mother of two. She worked as a secretary in a factory but presently she was jobless.

She confessed she was befriending her expatriate boss, who was taking proper care of her. When the man went back to his country, a black man took over from him. This man who was privy to the relationship between her and the Indian lover man wanted them to start a relationship as well. This she refused vehemently. Since that time, she knew no peace in that place. He eventually sacked her on flimsy excuse of inflating the cost of an electric kettle she was asked to buy. Her immediate problem was how to solve her house rent which would due in few days time. “Ah! This lady can talk!” I thought. My warning signal kept on beeping but I refused to listen.

When it was getting dark she suggested we change our location. The next port of call was a hotel. By this time I was a getting tipsy. One thing led to the other and I slept with her. Nkiru was a maniac on bed. I got clumsy as everything was moving too fast for me. When we were going, I gave her N10, 000 ( Ten thousand Naira only). She accepted it, thanked me and told me not forget the house rent she said was N150, 000. I was silently praying that the cup should quickly pass over me. I would run away from Nkiru, she would never see me again. We parted.

How wrong I was! Nkiru refused to go. She started calling me on phone. When she realized my intension was to dump her, she started sending text messages even at odd times. My wife started getting suspicious, but I parried all her insinuations.

Unknown to me, Nkiru had traced me to my church member’s shop. She had spilled the bean to this elderly man. The man called me on phone and said there was a serious issue he would like to discuss with me. I almost fainted. I plucked up courage and went to the man. He went straight to the point. He expressed his disappointment at my indiscression. He explained what Nkiru told him. He said her types are home breakers whom responsible men should always steer clear of. He advised that I should settle her because she had become very desperate.

That was how I had to eat the humble pie and call Nkiru. I begged her. She hit her roof and started calling me names; threatening hell and brimstone. After much begging and persuasion she agreed to take N50, 000.

Few months later, I started feeling some burning sensation all over my body. My wife also complained about the same symptoms. When we could no longer mange it again, we decided to consult our family doctors.

He conducted series of tests and told us to come back for the results. The doctor later confirmed that we were suffering from syphilis.

Spontaneously, my wife and I chorused, “WHAT!” the doctor repeated “Syphilis!” my wife asked “How?” I could not ask the same question. It was definitely through my unprotected coital relationship with Nkiru.

A shot at Nkiru had landed me and my wife in fatal trouble. Who knows if the children are safe too? My wife’s question; “HOW?” kept echoing in my brain. How? How? How?

 

Thursday 1 June 2017

BOOK REVIEW: BLUE COLLAR LAWMAN By: Harold Smith


Chapter 1

At the time Macmillan recorded his afore mentioned view, he was heavily engaged with Suez. This glaring example of dirty work abroad was a total failure. Undeterred, Macmillan re–read a life of Machiavelli, and turned his attention to Nigeria and its newly discovered oil fields. On 21 July 1956 he had written, “The Government’s position is very bad at present. Nothing has gone well. In the Middle East we are still teased by Nasser and Co.; this Colonial Empire is breaking up; and many people view with anxiety the attempt to produce Parliamentary Democracy is such places as Nigeria…”

“Many people” doubtless include the oil companies and Tory and Labour politicians. In fact, the first stage of the Independence Elections was rigged in 1956, when I, with my colleague Charles Bunker, was ordered by the Governor General to take a major evident on the ground that planning had been in hand for some time.

Although of great international importance, not one civil servant blew the whistle on the awful lies told by Government Ministers during the Suez affair. This was a largely public event, and one of its major aims (which were denied) was regime change. Blair, another lying Prime Minister, was more successful in Iraq.

It is clearly better to conduct dirty work abroad in secret. Macmillan kept a close eye on the Independence arrangements for Nigeria, where a showpiece of democracy was to be cynically destroyed and a set of corrupt stooges invested with power. I blew the whistle on that treason in 1956 and Macmillan knew, through his son – in – law Julian Amery, the measures taken to shut me up. Suez was illegal; Nigeria was illegal if Suez was illegal. The British publics still do not know of the treason which killed three million in Nigeria, but Tony Blair knew!

It seems that it was British parliament democracy that was being set aside by Harold Macmillan. Our stooges, who did not want the British to leave – the most backward and feudal we could find had power thrust on them. Nobody believed the mass of the people who followed their nationalist leaders could possibly have voted for those awful creatures and, in fact, very few did, but who cared when the British were counting the votes! Amazingly at the victory celebrations on Independence Day, not a single nationalist leader was on the platform when the union flag was lowered.

Had Macmillan feared the Nigeria people were not ready for Independence, he could easily have postponed it. After regime change in Persia and the Suez adventure, one might have expected Macmillan to be cautious. It was not to be. What is for sure is that it was not the welfare of the Nigeria people that Macmillan had in mind in screwing up democracy in Nigeria. There was also the small problem of consequences. What would happen to our stooges at elections when the British were not there to count the votes.

Clearly, the opposition had to be smashed, and in no time the leaders of the Action Group were framed on trumped–up treason charges. Would not this increase the risk of a coup? Our stooges were gunned down in 1966, and the Ibo were for a moment victorious. A British counter – coup restored our boys in power and sadly involved a pogrom. The Ibo declared for Independence, and they were put down by the force of British arms.

Did Macmillan feel any regret? Why should he, when the British kept control of the oil fields? Only three million died, and they were black, and a hagiographer of Balewa recorded that only one person of note was killed. So that was all right!

Was Macmillan an honourable gentleman? Or a cruel war criminal? Was he a democrat? He was certainly not going to own up. Indeed he took extreme measures to prevent the present writer telling the British people of his exploits.

The British had sold the Nigerians into slavery. Then they stole their country. Then they stole their mineral resources. Then they killed them. What next, one wonders? It would seem that Macmillan did not believe in teaching by example.

TO BE CONTINUED…

LEAN ON ME AUNTY MEG: SHOULD I TAKE HER BACK?

There was this pretty girl I fell in love with in our neighbourhood, she was the only child of her parents. The mother knew of our relationship but always begged me not to have any sexual relationship with her daughter. The advice even got to an embarrassing stage at a point. She made me swear an oath that I would not touch her until our wedding night.
After completing my studies, I went for the mandatory one year National Youth
Service. Fortunately for us, my girl also gained admission into a Polytechnic. I learnt she suddenly got pregnant. On hearing this, my world seemed collapsed. A friend even sent a picture of her in protruding belly to my phone.
She gave birth to a baby girl, but the guy whom she claimed impregnated her refused paternity. Her mother had been sending emissaries to me of late that I should forgive her and take my lover back.
Aunty Meg, what should I do?
---- Shadrack.
Shedrack,
My answer to your question is like this. An elder once told me that giving your enemy another chance in a precarious situation was like providing him/her another bullet to kill you after missing at the first attempt. Therefore instead of wasting your time on this abandoned vessel, why don’t you look for your own wife elsewhere? If the guy who impregnated her had accepted paternity, would she still have come back to you? Wake up Shadrack.
__ Aunty Meg

ADVENTURES OF MR FAARI : ALHAJA KUNBI; NARROW ESCAPE!


You have been inundated with several of my escapades and adventures when I was in the world. A lady fan had sent her experience in her youth days. Carry go!.

My name is Alhaja Kunbi. I am one of the numerous wives of Alhaji Kobiowu, a retired customs officer. As at then, we were all staying in the same town with him outside Lagos. He had a guest house in a remote part of the present day Shangisha. Alhaji Kobiowu is now late, may his soul rest in peace. There was this particular friend of mine that Alhaji had known in his days as customs officer. Her name was Dupe; he claimed the lady was a convicted smuggler. He warned me seriously to distance myself from her. This was a tall order, how could I distance myself from Dupe? We grew up together and went through the adolescent and juvenile escapades.

There was a snag in my marital union with the Alhaji, he was older than me with about thirty years. This age difference did not help matters. He was too reserved and conservative for my liking. He was the old school type. I had two children for him then and we did not lack anything.

While living with the Alhaji was drab and colourless, there was no single dull moment with Dupe Peperempe! That was why I craved her company.

Along the line, Dupe was having her birthday in Lagos. We planned this show stopper of a party together. I did not inform my husband but told him I had some very important business to transact in Lagos. I collected the key of our guest house from him. Immediately I hit Lagos, I went straight to Dupe’s house at Gbagada area of the city. She was already expecting me; I changed into the special attire chosen for the party. We rocked the party till the wee hours of the morning.

I arrived back at our guest louse at about 8:00 am the following morning. What I saw on the door almost made me fainted. Alhaji had already been there, what I was not sure of was whether he slept there or not. This was what he wrote and pinned on the door.                                   Onirin aare lese (wayward woman)

                                    I hope you have a cogent reason for this act. Signed.

In my panicked state I rushed back to Dupe. This was before the advent of mobile phone. After listening to my explanation, she advised me on what to do.

I rushed to our family doctor and explained my plight to him. I did not hide anything from him. He scolded me though, after some amount had exchanged hands, he promised to play ball. He was the one who called Alhaji on land phone and told him that I was rushed to his clinic the previous evening suffering from acute stomach ache. Alhaji swallowed this lie line, hook and sinker.

BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, AIDS IS REAL!

Thursday 11 May 2017

LEARN ON ME AUNTY MEG

Dear Aunty Meg,
I want you to assist me in solving this my problem. I took permission from my husband to
travel to our village few months ago. I went for an Uncle’s funeral. He warned me not to extend my stay beyond the date he gave me. One thing led to another and I overstayed. When I got back to Abuja, he ordered me to go back to my parents. I refused initially but when he threatened to kill me, I packed my load and left with my two children, a girl and a boy.He said I should leave the elderly boy behind but I refused.
Immediately we got to the village, the boy started falling sick. He later developed some complications and died. I did not inform him about the sickness. My problem now is how I would inform my husband about his son’s death. I still love him. ---------- Paulina.


Paulina, your problem started when you overstayed beyond your husband’s instruction. Probably, if you had informed him on phone about the extensions, his annoyance would have been reduced. Another fault of yours was your decision not to tell him about his son’s ailment. In all you have not allowed free flow of communication in the whole saga. My advice is to implore some elders from both families to placate him. Don’t leave out people from the church too. God will help you.

ADVENTURES OF MR. FAARI FUNMI ASUN!



There was this young girl I admired a lot, she was very pretty, tall, dark and intelligent. Her smile could illuminate a room. No matter the level of provocation meted to her she would never be angry. I learnt that she had just finished her OND and was assisting her uncle to serve in his beer joint.

I have been watching her at some distance before I eventually hit the nail on the head. She neither agreed nor disagreed. Any time I called her, she would give me audience. I prodded her further and collected her phone number which she gladly obliged. The following day, I was sent to Kaduna to cover a story. Unfortunately, I lost my phone during the trip. When I got back to Lagos, our relationship started on a full throttle.
Several months later, a girl sauntered into the beer joint smiling at me and Funmi. I looked at Funmi and saw the glaring similarities between the two girls. This was the girl I first met! I was confused.

I later on gathered that the one I first met was the young sister called Kunmi. In my confusion and hasty state of mind, I had mistaken her for Funmi. I learnt that Kunmi had to travel back to her school to collect her transcript. That explained her sudden absence from the scene.
It was not really a matter of confusion on their part as I later on gathered. It was unanimous decision between the two sisters that Kunmi whom I first met should step aside for her elder sister because there was family pressure on her to get married. Can it work? Faari to get married? We shall all see.
Behave responsibly; Aids is Real!



BOOK REVIEW: BLUE COLLAR LAWMAN BY HAROLD SMITH

SNEAK PREVIEW

Three British colonial officers protested at the British rigging of Nigeria’s Independence Elections. (Two gave in to pressure. It was decided that I was the ringleader and should be punished accordingly. In fact, Charles Bunker was my senior officer.)

The remarkable way in which I was treated – vilification; vindication; commendation; threats; hostility; offer of a knighthood (with permanent exile); denigration – puzzled me until I read every book on Macmillan, his diaries, biographies, etc. Only then did I realize I had been treated in accord with Macmillan’s personal philosophy. However, as Macmillan had by this time killed three million innocent Africans with Labour’s help, I could hardly feel badly done to. I was very lucky to be alive. Had I come near success as a whistle-blower, I would have been killed. This was no problem for M15/6 who have many killers to hand. Actually I was a failed whistle-blower because poisoned by Porton Down, which was the view of a Minister of Defence who had reason to know!

For twelve years I suffered the devastating effects of a poison, which destroyed my gut and simulated tropical sprue, which is rarely found in Africa. All this time Porton Down had the antidote. This was naturally denied me. The chance survival was remarkable and only after many years of medical research did I feel confident enough to re-commence my whistle-blowing. By this time the British had created a wasteland in Nigeria. This proud showcase of democracy had become a total basket case, thanks to Macmillan’s Machiavellian Machinations.

Macmillan evolved his Casablanca philosophy while resident Minister in North Africa. The rest of Africa, particularly Nigeria, suffered from Macmillan’s criminal tactics in the 50’s and 60’s, and the documentary evidence is beginning to emerge. Macmillan adored what he learned in North Africa. He was exhilarated!

The purely Balkan politics we have here are more to my liking,’ he wrote. ‘if you don’t like a chap, you don’t deprive him of the whip or turn him out of the party. You just say he is a monarchist or has plotted to kill Murphy’ – Macmillan’s American counterpart – ‘and you shoot him off to prison or a Saharan concentration camp. Then a week or two later, you let him out and make him Minister for something or other. It’s really very exhilarating.’

In 1960 Macmillan rigged Nigeria’s Independence Elections and put Northern stooges in power. He then jailed Opposition leaders. Chief Anthony Enaharo got fifteen years on trumped – up treason charges! This was sheer effrontery of Macmillan when he was the one who was destroying democracy. Chief Enaharo is still alive, outraged and seeking justice. Following a coup and a British counter-coup, he then released Chief Enaharo and his colleague, Chief Awolowo, made them Ministers in the military administration and with massive supplies of British arms encouraged them to wage war on their fellow nationalists of the Ibo nation in the East. This was passed off as a civil war in which three million innocents died. It was a classic example of British perfidy and followed exactly the tactic proclaimed by Macmillan a few years earlier in North Africa. No doubt it was very, very exhilarating! And the African victims of his treason to British parliamentary democracy? They were not human beings. They were, in his words, ‘only barbarians’.

My own treatment as a whistle-blower was not much better. His son-in-law, Julian Amery, through the Governor General, Sir James Robertson, threatened my life should I succeed in alerting the British public. At the very least, they promised, if I did not accept permanent exile to the Far East, I would never work again. They kept that promise with the help of successive British Governments. Mr. Blair has done nothing to help me, or to deceive the British people about Iraq and, following in Macmillan’s footsteps, waged an illegal war.
Mac, SuperMac, devious? Devious is not the word. Insane is a better one. Drunk with power? Hitler was insane? Is Blair, who lied to Parliament, not insane?

A Dagger in the Heart
Without oil, and without the profits from oil, neither the UK nor Western Europe can survive.”
TO BE CONTINUED.

Wednesday 10 May 2017

UNCLE KAY SEPARATED ME AND MY SISTER FOR LIFE!

By Femi Abulude

Ever since I could remember, people had been commenting on both physical and behavioral similarities between Sister Eliza and I. This was not surprising though Sister Eliza was the first daughter of our parents. Ours was a family of seven, made of three girls and two boys. I was the forth in the family.


While I was growing up, I saw Sister Eliza as my role model, hoping to become a nurse like her in future. Our other siblings were always envious of the mutual understanding between us. I was her protégé, always running errands for her and following her about on social visits to her friends.

Sisters Eliza was already a nurse working in one of the government owned hospitals in the present Osun State that was in the 80s. Before the other family members knew about her fiancé, obviously I had already known brother Kayode. He was a pharmacist working in the same hospital as my sister. Therefore, when both of them got married, it did not require much persuasion before my parents agreed that I should follow the young couple to Osogbo.
Sister Eliza wanted me to be a nurse like her, this had always been my life ambition and I was studying very hard to achieve this, Uncle Kayode was loving and caring too. When sister took to bed and was delivered of a baby boy, our joy knew no bounds Uncle Kayode and Sister Eliza were planning a thank you visit to our parents and his after the naming ceremony. They were to go on Saturday evening; the journey had to be adjusted slightly when Uncle Kayode came back from the office on Friday evening to announce that he would not be able to go. He implored his wife to go because the two parents would be expecting them. That was how sister and the baby went without him.

On this particular day, he came back from the office earlier than usual; I did not suspect any foul play. I prepared dinner in the evening and shortly later retired to my room for my normal evening studies. At about 10:30pm, I had a knock on my door, it was Uncle Kayode. I opened the door for him and he entered the room. He sat on the bed and cleared his throat and asked: “ Roda my dear, how are you preparing for your examination?” I told him I was trying my best, he collected the exercise book from me and was going through the mathematical sums I had practiced.

He made some corrections and explained the answers, after this, Uncle Kayode rested his both hands on my shoulders and said in a very deep tone. “ Roda, you know, you really resemble your sister. In fact, you can go for her double take, the type of love I have for her is the one I have for you too...” He kept on like that, as he was talking, he was removing his boxer pant, I was stupefied. He dashed to the door and locked it from behind, I was afraid. He came back to where I was rooted to the floor unable to move. I wore nothing underneath the wrapper I tied around my chest, he carried me like a baby and dumped me on the bed, he made a gesture to me not to shout. When I screamed he covered my mouth and face with pillow then spread my legs wide apart. I felt his manhood around my naked cunt. He kept on ramming into me. After some jerkins and pumping, he forcefully entered me. Uncle Kayode had deflowered me!

I was alarmed, after some time, he released his power and fell on top of me like a deflated balloon. He attempted to kiss me, I dodged my mouth, I just lay there helplessly. The pains in my groin could be better imagined; he stood up and warned me never to tell my sister or anyone what had happened, he threatened that if I did, he would kill me.
Sister Eliza came back from her journey and I pretended as if nothing happened, I kept what happened between me and her husband to myself, he was extra ordinary nice to me, but I hated him like plague. But the beast has tasted me, and would no stop. He made it a regular affair. He impregnated me once and quickly arranged for abortion.

Nemesis caught up with us one evening. Sister Eliza had just given birth to another baby. Uncle Kayode said he had some private studies to do another baby’s cry. He kayoed said he had some private study to do, he also complained about the baby’s cry. He told his wife that he would prefer my room. I knew I was in for another round sex.

Few hours later, Uncle Kayode came and resumed his sexual orgy. I struggled with him, but as usual, he had his way, we were in the middle of the action when the door suddenly burst opened. In his lustful haste, Uncle Kayode forgot to shut the door! Sister Eliza caught us pants down. She screamed. “Kayode! Roda!!”. She turned back covered her face with her both hands and ran back to her room.

Uncle Kayode quickly dressed up and went to meet his wife. Quarrel ensued between them. Before the day broke, I decided on what to do. I packed all my belongings and left that house. I stayed with some of my mates who were residing in a rented house very close to our schools. That was where I was throughout my examination period. When I was through, I went to my parents. Sister Eliza kept the secret between us till the time I am writing this story.


I eventually became a nurse like her but I did not have a settled home. I am a single mother of two children: a boy and a girl.

OPINION: OUR MONEY IN THEIR HANDS

By Femi Abulude

This is the era of abandoned money. What we were used to in this part of the world were abandoned projects and abandoned children. The various uncompleted projects were caused by unscrupulous politicians, who after collecting the lion share of the contract money from the contractors, rendered them incapacitated. The projects would be abandoned mid way and the story would end there, because all the people concerned and those that were supposed to supervise or approve the projects had been compromised.

The issue of abandoned children is about unprepared mother, who suddenly found out that she was pregnant, could not abort it, and went through the pregnancy and delivery, then abandon the baby.

Somebody said the last civilian regime was like the days of Jackals, it was the buccaneer era. The common wealth of Nigeria has been squandered and shared among the people in authority. When the party was over, the hapless nation was left in limbo. Economy recession took over; the poor masses that had been famished already are told to tighten their belts on waist less hips. The money is now hot in their hands. Somebody said somewhere that if Nigerians had not voted them out at the last general elections, Nigeria would have stopped existing by now. Morbid as this sounds, it seems to be the home truth.

In the real sense of it unfortunately between the last regime and the present one in power, the dramatis personae have not changed much. Apart from the president, Mohammadu Buhari and his vice, Yemi Osinbajo, the political players are still the same. Visit the senate, you will see majority of the former governors, ministers etc. The same thing goes for the characters in the House of Representatives. This is the reason why Buhari war on corruption has been a herculean task. Corruption is fighting back seriously and Buhari’s slim and frail structure cannot withstand the onslaught, hence, his frequent visits to the hospitals.

One thing is going for the nation though. The stolen money is hot in the hands of the looters. They could not keep it in the bank, could not transfer it abroad, could not keep it at home and could not donate or give it out as gifts. If you want to open an account in the bank now, they would ask you if you are a politician or related to politicians. The noose has been tightened on them, hence the decision to abandon these huge sum of money anyhow and anywhere. There is no where they could not hide the ill gotten money. The most absurd is the cemetery. When I first heard this, I thought it was an exaggeration. Pictures don’t lie; the operatives of the EFCC were shown exhuming loads and loads of money from a cemetery.

The money is too hot in their hands and they are bringing it out. I hope the money would not end up in private hands again.

We thank God that the lost money is coming out; my prayer is that accountability will prevail. The money belongs to the masses, let them benefit from all these. The lost money abandoned and the ones traced abroad should be spent judiciously, they are our common wealth.


Monday 17 April 2017

OPINION: GENERAL ADEYINKA ADEBAYO; DEMISE OF AN APOSTLE OF PEACE

The death of General Robert Adeyinka Adebayo father of Richard Adeniyi Adebayo came as rude shock. Why? This baba was a reference point and always ready to lend his voice and render useful and meaningful advice to issues that concern Yoruba in particular and Nigeria in general.

I had my first personal encounter with this sage and military colossus in 1993 when I was the manager in charge of promotions of KSA Holdings. King Sunny Ade was organizing his foundation (KSA foundation) and I was at the same time gathering materials for a book I was writing on him.

General Adebayo was a member of this foundation. I had an interview with him which I copied verbatim below:-
Sunny is a nice man who respects his elders. He is humble and generous. Though I met him by accident, I have not regretted my association with him.

Ideally, I am not supposed to be a member of his foundation being his elder, because a foundation is supposed to outlive its founder, but as his ardent fan and one of the people that propped up his musical career, I don’t have other choice than to make him realize his dream.
I met him through a friend, Late Chief Adeleke Osijinrin in 1967, few days before the Nigerian civil war. I had just lost my Dad and we were looking for a juju artiste to play at the funeral ceremony after Tunde Nightingale told us of his in ability to play for us, because of his earlier commitments.

This friend of mine enthusiastically told me about this new juju sensation in Lagos called Sunny Ade, we contacted him and he played for us at Iyin – Ekiti and we all enjoyed his music.

Sunny did one thing after the show that I had never experienced before. He came to me with some of his band boys in the morning and offered me all the money they made. He said the money was their own contribution to my father’s funeral!

I was surprised by this generosity, I noticed that he came to this party in a chartered bus, so I called one of my friends who was an accountant with SCOA motors and handed the money over to him. I instructed him to give Sunny a bus when they got back to Lagos. That was how he got his first bus.”

Why did they tag him Owanbe Governor? As could be deducted in this interview, General Adebayo was a socialite and one can hardly blame him on this. The Western Region in which he took over as the second military governor in 1966 had just gone through a political turmoil.

This was the “WETIE” era; the period of bonfire when properties of political rivals were been burnt, when human lives were not worth a dime
Chief Obafemi Awolowo, who was the political leader of the region, had been sentenced to 10 years imprisonment on charges of treasonable felony by Alhaji Tafawa Balewa led Federal government. This did not go down well with his followers.

The premier of the Region, Sir Ladoke Akintola had been swept off by the first military coup of January 15, 1966. Lt. Col. Adekunle Fajuyi, who came after Akintola was later assassinated along with the military head of state, General Aguiyi Ironsi in a counter coup of July 1966 in Ibadan the capital of Western Region! Tension was high. Some of those who survived the imbroglio were thrown into jail. This was the period of Jackals.

General Adeyinka Adebayo brought hope. He brought joy. He brought peace. He needed to reach out to all the warring parties. This he did successfully in a place hitherto referred to as “Wild – Wild – West”. This made him a regular patron at social ceremonies. The tag “Owanbe” could be translated as “Was he present at the party? And the answer: “Owanbe” he was present!

General Adeyinka Adebayo had played his own role and he is probably giving accounts of his stewardship now. Adieu the ever present Governor; peace maker Baba Niyi, Baba Yoruba, our veteran war hero!


Sunday 16 April 2017

LEAN ON ME: DEAR AUNTY MEG

Dear Aunty Meg,
I want you to help me out of this my present predicament. A couple had just packed to our neighborhood. The wife happened to be my former girl friend whom I lost contact with when I left my home town several years ago. I am happily married but my wife travels a lot. She is an international trader.
This lady took advantage of this and always visited me during my lonely period. I won’t deceive you, I slept with her the last time she came visiting. I don’t want to cheat on my wife again. What should I do?
--- Tee Jay

Tee Jay,
Sleeping with another man’s wife is a sin against God and an offence punishable under the penal code of the land. You should put a stop to this illicit affair. If everyone is sleeping with his/her former lover, what would the world turn to? What would be your reaction if you suddenly catch your wife sleeping with her former lover?
You are the man; let the woman see reasons why you should stop this adulterous act. You need to pray for forgiveness and the courage to stop the illicit affair. God will help you.

---- Aunty Meg

SWIFT DR. LAZARUS

My husband, Lazarus, was an advertisement executive officer in a media house, while I sold provision materials and toiletries in a shop near our house. He lost his job through what I gathered later on to be due to his fraudulent actions. Having nothing to do again, he joined me in the shop.

He was the one that prompted me to join the health team of our church. In this team, we had trained health workers who treated church members and majored in child delivery. I soon learned the nitty – gritty of child delivery.

My husband had mis–informed the people in our area that he was a medical doctor, and that his wife was a nurse. They started bringing their pregnant women for delivery. We became popular and money kept coming in. He later abandoned me in the shop and went to rent a bungalow and erected a clinic signpost in front of the building. He said I was a thorn in his flesh. The reason being that I always taunted him with the fake life he was living. “Dr. Lazarus my foot!”

Laz, you know, you are not a medical doctor. Why are you deceiving the people? You may end up in jail if the truth is known. Besides, our church members had been grumbling about your deceit…” Jealous woman. I know you are not happy about my progress. It is you and your family members that would go to jail, not me…” We would go on and on. He would shout me down and threatened to beat me up.

The bubble burst when a lady died during child birth in his clinic. Her family did not take it lying low with him. They got him arrested. The police requested for his certificates. He had none; therefore he could not produce any. They milked him dry. He spent close to six months in detention. We eventually rallied round and got him off the hook. He had no other option than to close down the fake clinic.

Shame could not allow him move freely in the community again. He left me and the children and relocated to another part of the city. He established a school and named it “Dr. Lazarus International School”. He sold a dummy to the people that he had PhD in Education. On hearing this, parents started withdrawing their children from the existing schools. They were registering them at Dr. Lazarus International School.

Nemesis eventually caught up with him when it was time to register students for final examination. He had boasted more than what he could handle. Pride could not allow him to approach the schools around him for guidance on the registration procedures. His school was not registered. He was still ruminating on what to do when the registration period expired. Therefore, he could not register the students. Unfortunately for him, an Uncle of one of the students was a top official in the State’s Ministry of Education. This man miffed with what happened did his investigation and realized that my husband was a fraudulent person.

Expectedly, Lazarus could not produce the registration fees he collected from the students. That was how the school was shamefully closed down and my husband ended up in the police net again.


As I am writing this, I have relocated to my home town. The shame was too much. I am thinking of divorcing Lazarus. He had got another woman. It was this lady that came to inform us about his present ordeal. Can you imagine the effrontery!

Wednesday 22 March 2017

ADVENTURES OF MR. FAARI: TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

I had an appointment with Roluke as she did not come on time; I decided to wait at the hotel’s garden and was sipping my drink. As I was settling down, I took a cursory look around me. Among all the pretty faces, a particular one caught my attention.

Aa - ah! It was Tessy! This was the girl I brought here last week. I picked my phone and sent her a text message.

Mr. Faari: What do you want here again?
Tessy: Oobi! Useless man (she replied)
Mr. Faari: You are so shameless; you cannot even tell him to take you somewhere else.
Tessy: How does that concern you?
Mr. Faari: It is my concern because I used to bring you here. I own this land!
Tessy: Which land?
Mr. Faari: Tessy, you are an incorrigible prostitute.
Tessy: See me o! Kettle calling pot black!
Mr. Faari: If you annoyed me, I’ll come and create a scene at your table over there.
Tessy: You dare not. The man here is an army officer. his ADC is the one sitting behind you.
I looked at my back and saw this hefty looking guy in smart military uniform. I sulked in silence. Tessy had won this battle. Where is Roluke o?

BEHAVE RESPONSIBILITY; AIDS IS REAL!